Things I'm Afraid to Tell You

This post has been swirling around in my head for a few weeks now.  Since I read this post, and was inspired. So brave. 

Then Monday, I was reading through my blog reader and came across this post by one of my faves. Again, the bravery it takes to be vulnerable enough to share what's on your heart is inspiring. 

These posts, they led me down my own thoughts. Often times, I think we're afraid to say what we really think and feel out of fear. 

How will people react to them?

What will they say? 

Will they look at me differently now?

Will they judge me?

But sometimes, for me I think I'm afraid to say things out loud because the reality is then that makes them all the more true. If I say them out loud, if I tell you then I really have to come to terms with these thoughts and feelings instead of just always keeping them to myself. 

At the same time I think there's bravery and freedom that can come from letting these thoughts out and sharing them. 

So here goes, some things I'm afraid to tell you........

1. Lately I've been checking my blog stats a lot! For the past year I'd say I've become mildly obsessed with it. At first it was to try and understand Google Analytics, SEO and all that other garb better, but then it became every day. Trying to figure it out, see who was searching, what they were reading, etc. And to be quite truthful it's been driving me crazy the last few weeks. What blogger doesn't want their blog to grow right? Ever since coming back from SNAP!, I've been really feeling like I need to take a step back, remember why I started blogging in the first place, and not be so focused on the numbers, and my traffic. I never paid much attention to it before, so why was I now? Especially since all it was doing was driving me crazy. Here's the conclusion I've come to in the last few weeks; different blogs grow at different paces for various reasons. If I'm doing what I love, sharing and writing what I love the rest will come and fall into place. So here's to stop being obsessed with checking my stats, and worrying about blog growth. That's not to say I don't care, I do. But, I need to find a better priority in all of it, and I think I'm finally finding that. 

2. This is not a craft blog. I'm a creative person, I have more ideas sometimes that I know what to do with. I love creating, and making things lovely. Some days I'm creating projects and other days I'm not. This blog will never solely be a craft/project blog. That's not my life, and that's not what I will share here in this space. I love the creative community but I don't believe that I have to be solely a craft blog in order to be successful in this world. 

3. For me, I don't feel like I can't be the mother I want to be or need to be for my family and work full time. I've been working full time outside the home for almost two years now, and constantly it's an on going struggle to find the time to do everything. There are moments that I have missed out on due to working full time that make me truly sad, they grieve my heart. They are the breeding grounds for all sorts of motherhood guilt. To truly be the mother and wife that I know I want and need to be this lifestyle will change. 

All that being said this brings me to the last thing I'm afraid to tell you.....

4. I don't like my day job. I love the people I work with, they are the sweetest. But I truly don't love my job, truthfully I sit bored half the time and my mind races and wonders what more productive things I could be doing at home, or with my child. I think most people get the impression that I work because I want to, but the truth is I work because at the time I had to. I had to make a choice and a sacrifice for my family. Not really knowing at the time the other things I would sacrifice in the long run. 

Whew! I feel better. 

What things are you afraid to speak out loud that have been on your heart? 

Our Love Story: Our First Date

Last Saturday marked seven years that Orion and I have been together. It was the anniversary of our first date: 5/12/05. I remember that day like it was yesterday, so I thought it was only fitting to tell you and take a little walk down memory lane and celebrate that day.

Orion and I met in January of 2005, and we'd slowly been becoming friends. There was a period of about a month before we went on our "first official" date where Orion seemed to be everywhere I was. I went from not ever seeing him at school, to seeing him everywhere I went.

There were days when he'd just happen to be walking outside my apartment and we'd sit and chat for a while before I headed inside. He would show up on my route to my classes and walk with me and we'd talk. Then there were all the Wednesday nights after church service that a big group of us would go out to eat. He'd always end up sitting near me or next to me.

Our friends were also good at pushing this along. They would invite Orion to do things with us, and suddenly there would be 3 other couples and Orion and myself. Below is a picture of such an event, a Twins game that Orion showed up to and I "just happened" to be there too.

Looking back now, I am so thankful for all those events that enabled Orion and I to get to know each other. It made our first date less awkward and fun. By the time Orion asked me out on a date, I was comfortable with him and he was already my friend. 

Orion asked me to go out on a date the Saturday of a friend's wedding. I'd been planning on attending this wedding for months, and I knew that I didn't want to miss it. I was going to go with my best friend Sara and her Husband. I'd thought about asking Orion to be my plus one to the wedding since I didn't already have a date, but I thought that would be an awkward first date at a wedding. 

So instead I asked Orion if we could go out the Friday before the wedding as our first date, and then asked him if he would attend the wedding with me the next evening. Luckily he agreed. Our first date, 5/12/05. Just thinking about that day, brings me back. I remember spending part of the morning with my friend Sara at her apartment, talking about what I was going to wear and where we were going. Truthfully, I was emotional that day before heading into our date that night. 

I'd known Orion was a great guy, that I liked him. And I hoped it would go well, I couldn't help thinking that this was going to be my last first date ever. I never was the type of girl who wanted to date a lot of guys. The truth was, that a lot of my guy friendships and relationships never got past friends because I knew there wasn't a future there, and I didn't want to waste my time, or loose a friendship with someone I knew I couldn't see myself with. 

But, Orion he was different. I knew I could see a future with him. And, that scared me a little bit, but it also made me very excited. 

I could tell you every little detail leading up to that night when he knocked on my door. I can tell you exactly what I wore that evening right down to the shoes. What Orion wore, and I can also tell you how for the longest time I didn't want to part with that outfit because it was what I wore the day I went on a date with the guy I would eventually marry someday. 

That evening Orion took me to dinner downtown Minneapolis at a restaurant called McCormick & Schmicks. I can remember exactly what booth we sat in and what we ordered. I remember the chit chat and small talk we made about classes and school, our families. You know all that typical stuff you talk about on a first date. 

At one point in the evening Orion got up to use the restroom, and while he was gone I remember sitting there thinking how much fun I was having, how great of a guy he is, and how I didn't want the evening to end. When dinner was over and Orion paid for the check we headed outside, it was raining that night in Minneapolis. His car was in the parking garage across the street, we decided to make a mad dash across the street in the rain. 

Without hesitation he grabbed my hand and we ran across the street to the parking garage. Seamlessly and effortlessly, we were comfortable with each other. We drove around the city for a few minutes admiring downtown, and truthfully I think he was stalling because I knew he didn't want the night to end yet either.

I did something then, I'm sure no one ever does on a first date with someone. I suggested we go over to my friend Sara's house and hang out with her and her husband. Orion was up for it. So I called my friend Sara, who I'm sure was like why are you calling me on your date. But anyway, she invited us over to hang out. So off we went to Loring Park to see friends and spend the rest of our evening with them. We pulled up to their building which happened to be a beautiful high rise apartment, they lived on the 12th floor. 

They greeted us at the door, Sara and I spent a good amount of time giggling and talking date night details in her kitchen before heading to the living room to settle in to watch a movie. Movie of choice that night was Ladder 49, I remember cuddling and holding hands with Orion underneath the blankets while watching the movie. 

About half way through the movie, their fire alarm went off in their building. How appropriate is what I was thinking. We made our way down 12 flights of stairs before sitting outside with the rest of the building residents, waiting for fire trucks and fireman to make their way. Turns out it was a false alarm, and everything was ok. Orion and I decided to head back to my apartment and say good-bye to our friends. 

Orion drove me back to my apartment. We sat inside and talked for a little while longer, making plans for the next evening when we'd attend a friends' wedding together. Before he left, we had a conversation where Orion told me that he'd really like to start dating me, he told me how great a time he'd had that night. I agreed, I wanted to start dating him to. It was official, from that evening on we were together. A couple. The next night we attended a friend's wedding together, and took this which would be our very first picture together:

After seven years together he still makes me laugh. He's still the one I want to be with, the one I love. Falling in love with Orion was one of the best experiences of my life I can't wait to share it with you. 

30B430: Have Another Booth at a Craft Fair

I'm back sharing another goal I've crossed off my 30B430 list! I've been really wanting to stretch myself with my handmade business and grow it. And I really enjoy meeting people and seeing them excited about my products. I knew I wanted to do another craft fair of sorts. 

My church had a local fair the last weekend in April. I signed up a few months ago, and have been busy making lots of new things. Here's what my table looked like that day:

 

 

This was my second craft show, I learned a lot the first go around. So it was nice to apply what I learned this time and see improvements.

 

I'm excited to be listing and offering a lot of the items you see here this weekend in my Etsy shop: Worley House Designs.  Look for fun new headbands, earrings, and clips! 

And for a special treat we're having a Spring Sale! Use code: SPRINGSALE30 for 30% off your purchases! 

See the original list here. 

Tulips Are My Favorite

Next to a white lily, tulips are my absolute favorite flower. There were plenty of these beauties in Utah when I was there for SNAP!, we stayed at Thanksgiving Point which just happened to have a tulip festival happening at the same time as the conference.

Destiny and I took a little walk one afternoon and took in these beauties. As well as having a little photo shoot of our own.

Such a beautiful place to get away for a few days with friends. I love taking pictures of scenery, it always amazes me the beautiful things that God creates. Down to every last detail of the inside of the petals. God is always in the details. 

Thank you Destiny for taking these beautiful pictures of me and helping me update my photos. :)

Today is also my beautiful Mama's birthday, Happy Birthday Mom! We love you!

What's made you smile today? 

An Award and A Survey

Yesterday  I received a Liebster Blog Award from the lovely Mindy at Cute N' Crafty Creations. This award is given to bloggers who have under 200 followers, and passed around to others who also have less than 200 followers! What a great way to spread the word about great blogs!

Alright so as with everything there are a few rules to follow when you receive a Liebster Award. Here they are:

1. Post about your win on your blog

2. Link back to the blogger who presented you with the award: Cute N' Crafty Creations (be sure to follow me! Check out my Facebook and Twitter too!) 

3. Copy and past the award button to your blog.

4. Present the Liebster Award to 5 blogs that have fewer than 200 followers that you think deserve to be recognized.

5. Let them know by leaving a comment on their blog.

Here are 5 that I think you might enjoy!

1. She's Star Crossed

2. Virginia Living

3. Mama of M's 

4. The Bormann Twins 

5. The Believing Woman

******

Now for the other fun part, the survey!

One of my goals after coming home from SNAP! was to try and get to know YOU, my readers better. See what you're loving on the blog, and what you're not. So, I created a lovely survey for you to take! I promise it won't take long, and it would really help me out if you'd take a few minutes to respond! 

Click here to take the survey.

Thanks friends! 

Life via Instagram

I'm probably never, never going to get sick of Instagram. It's my most fave ever app. I think I kinda like it more than Twitter, because pictures tell more of the story that words ever could. Right?! Some scenes from our life via my Insta gram feed.
Wednesday I made a pan of these yummy Scotcharoos for my co-workers retirement party. They went fast, but I had to snag a few to take home for the hubby. {reciepe to come.} Thursday we baby sat for some friends so they could enjoy a date night! We love having their two boys over, and Ava loves them too. Waiting in the pick up line for Daddy is tiring work! Right Ava?! Snoozin' while we wait for hubby. She's so cute, and I just love her so. My fave apps in addition with Instagram are: PicFrame & Phonto. Check them out, if you're an Instagram user you'll probably love them as much as I do!
Linking here. 

Blog Roll Monday: A Night Owl Blog

Let's get back to our regularly scheduled programming and share with you one of the blogs on my reading list! I love meeting new bloggers, and meeting them in real life after you've been reading their blogs for a while is always a lot of fun.

I met Kimberly from A Night Owl Blog a few weeks after we started following each other on Twitter 7 Instagram! We met for the first time at The Glitter Academy event back in March! It was so great to finally meet in person and put a face to the name! She's just as sweet in person as she is on her blog.

She's new to blogland, but her blog is growing amazing and she's got some awesome things going on over there! A weekly Pinterest link up party, and Instagram link up to share all those awesome photos you're taking and sharing!

She also shares some fun projects, like crafting and thrifty finds! Which I really enjoy because I love seeing a good deal.

If you haven't seen her blog yet jump on over and check her out! Say hello, and tell her I sent ya!

Click the banner link above or click here:

http://anightowlblog.blogspot.com/http://anightowlblog.blogspot.com/